{"title":"Functional","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"sanity-stabilizer-docking-station-coaster-set-4-holder","title":"Sanity Stabilizer Docking Station – Coaster Set (4 + Holder)","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome days require more than coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Sanity Stabilizer Docking Station is a 4-piece coaster set designed for those moments when reality starts getting a little... unstable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a clean, sci-fi inspired design with just enough questionable engineering vibes to feel official, each coaster set is paired with a matching holder to keep your station organized and ready for deployment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✔ Set includes 4 coasters + custom holder  \u003cbr\u003e✔ Ceramic coasters with cork backing to protect surfaces  \u003cbr\u003e✔ UV-printed design for sharp detail and long-lasting durability  \u003cbr\u003e✔ Water-resistant, heat-resistant, and easy to clean  \u003cbr\u003e✔ Designed and produced in-house  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade in-house in Canada, with minimal chaos and maximum care.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuilt to survive daily use, questionable drink choices, and the occasional reality glitch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're unwinding after a long day, fuelling a late-night idea, or just trying to keep things from spiralling completely out of control, this set has you covered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach set is made to order with care (and minimal supervision).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStabilization not guaranteed—but highly encouraged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLooking for something custom? We can build your own docking station.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45096141553687,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/Sanity_Stabilizer_Coasters_-_Cantina_Color_Corrected.png?v=1777441021"},{"product_id":"last-call-stories","title":"Last Call Stories","description":"\u003cp\u003eLast Call Stories are professionally UV-printed stainless steel bar blades featuring two-sided visual stories built for bartenders, servers, night shift survivors, and people who have absolutely seen some things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach blade tells a setup-and-punchline story across both sides — from bartender POV disasters to late-night chaos, awkward customers, catastrophic flirting, and service industry trauma with suspiciously good lighting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is printed directly onto stainless steel using a durable raised UV print with a slightly tactile finish.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuilt to open bottles.\u003cbr\u003eDesigned to start conversations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Stainless steel professional bar blade\u003cbr\u003e• Durable raised UV print\u003cbr\u003e• Two-sided story artwork\u003cbr\u003e• Approx. 180mm x 40mm x 5mm\u003cbr\u003e• Lightweight, durable, and functional\u003cbr\u003e• Designed and produced in-house by Geeked Out\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMore stories, limited editions, and bartender survival tools coming soon.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"Good Tipper vs Bad Tipper","offer_id":45117374496791,"sku":null,"price":19.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Simple vs Complex","offer_id":45117374529559,"sku":null,"price":19.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Start of Shift vs End of Shift","offer_id":45117374562327,"sku":null,"price":19.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/Tippers_37728f46-38d9-4b6e-9caf-7e3f87be9dae.png?v=1778157013"},{"product_id":"wash-your-hooves-shower-curtain","title":"Wash Your Hooves Shower Curtain","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome bathrooms aim for luxury.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e Some aim for minimalism.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis one clearly chose:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eemotionally supportive livestock.\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Wash Your Hooves Shower Curtain transforms your bathroom into a mildly unhinged farmhouse bathhouse run entirely by suspiciously clean goats.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eguest bathrooms\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ecabins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003equirky home decor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRVs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAirbnb setups\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003epeople who believe bath time should involve more farm animals\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted with vibrant high-detail graphics on lightweight waterproof polyester fabric, this curtain adds exactly the right amount of “why do I love this so much?” energy to your morning routine.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • Waterproof polyester fabric\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • Machine washable\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • Lightweight and durable\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • Includes 12 easy-install C-shaped hooks\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • Vibrant full-colour printed artwork\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • Fits most standard tubs and shower stalls\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable Sizes:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • 72\" x 72\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • 72\" x 78\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e • 72\" x 84\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSuitable for:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e homes, apartments, dorms, campers, cabins, gyms, hotels, or anywhere that could benefit from aggressively wholesome goat energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause ordinary shower curtains lack commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"Multi 39 \/ 72\"W x 72\"L (Pack of 1)","offer_id":45120582746135,"sku":"B09X1GWN79","price":42.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/b84d38a54f0b9d6ec947963dc979.jpg?v=1778268902"},{"product_id":"poopmaster-9000™","title":"Poopmaster 9000™","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"238\" data-end=\"318\"\u003eA surprisingly serious storage system for a very unserious daily responsibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"320\" data-end=\"666\"\u003eThe Poopmaster 9000™ is a rugged wall-mounted doggy bag dispenser designed to keep your emergency poop-response infrastructure fully stocked and deployment-ready at all times. Mount it near your door, gate, garage, fence, mud room, or leash station so you’re never forced into the ancient ritual of “forgetting a bag and pretending not to notice.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"668\" data-end=\"841\"\u003e3D printed in durable PETG plastic, this unit is weather-resistant, sturdy, and built to survive rain, sun, cold, and repeated exposure to the consequences of pet ownership.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"843\" data-end=\"986\"\u003eThe main storage chute holds up to 5 bag rolls, while the quick-access side caddy keeps an active roll ready for immediate tactical extraction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"988\" data-end=\"1028\"\u003eYes, this is absolutely over-engineered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1030\" data-end=\"1057\"\u003eNo, we are not apologizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1059\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003eIncluded\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003e1 × Poopmaster 9000™ dispenser unit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1110\" data-end=\"1135\"\u003e5 × rolls of doggy bags\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1136\" data-end=\"1154\"\u003e15 bags per roll\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1181\"\u003eMounting screws included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1183\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1196\" data-end=\"1415\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1196\" data-end=\"1219\"\u003eWall-mountable design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1260\"\u003eDurable outdoor-safe PETG construction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1261\" data-end=\"1289\"\u003eStores up to 6 total rolls\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1290\" data-end=\"1319\"\u003eQuick-access side dispenser\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1320\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003eFits most standard doggy bag rolls\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1357\" data-end=\"1415\"\u003eDesigned and fabricated in-house by Geeked Out Creations\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1417\" data-end=\"1432\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1433\" data-end=\"1559\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1433\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003edog owners\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1446\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003eleash stations\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1473\"\u003emud rooms\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1474\" data-end=\"1492\"\u003efences and gates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1493\" data-end=\"1511\"\u003eparks and cabins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1512\" data-end=\"1559\"\u003epeople tired of panic-searching for poop bags\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1561\" data-end=\"1575\"\u003eDimensions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1576\" data-end=\"1615\"\u003e(Add measurements here once finalized.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1617\" data-end=\"1635\"\u003eImportant Note\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1636\" data-end=\"1716\"\u003eDogs remain fully responsible for all crimes committed while using this product.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45128699674647,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/Poopmaster9000-loaded.jpg?v=1778530123"},{"product_id":"passive-aggressive-hospitality-coaster-set","title":"Passive Aggressive Hospitality Coaster Set","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"1417\" data-end=\"1502\"\u003eWelcome your guests with warmth, elegance, and barely concealed emotional exhaustion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1504\" data-end=\"1708\"\u003eThe Passive Aggressive Hospitality Set combines ornate vintage styling with messages that technically sound welcoming while radiating increasingly suspicious energy the longer someone stays in your house.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1710\" data-end=\"1722\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1723\" data-end=\"1853\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1723\" data-end=\"1735\"\u003eintroverts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1736\" data-end=\"1763\"\u003esocially exhausted humans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1764\" data-end=\"1775\"\u003ewine moms\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1776\" data-end=\"1793\"\u003esarcastic hosts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1794\" data-end=\"1853\"\u003epeople who lock the door immediately after visitors leave\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1855\" data-end=\"1873\"\u003eEach set includes:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1874\" data-end=\"2003\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1874\" data-end=\"1894\"\u003e4 ceramic coasters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1895\" data-end=\"1909\"\u003ecork backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1910\" data-end=\"1936\"\u003evivid UV printed artwork\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"1971\"\u003ecustom white PETG storage holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1972\" data-end=\"2003\"\u003efelt feet to protect surfaces\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2005\" data-end=\"2062\"\u003eDesigned and fabricated in-house by Geeked Out Creations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2064\" data-end=\"2084\"\u003eIncluded Designs\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2085\" data-end=\"2183\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2085\" data-end=\"2105\"\u003eSo Nice To See You... leave.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2106\" data-end=\"2129\"\u003eMake Yourself At Home... somewhere else.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2130\" data-end=\"2155\"\u003eThe Door Is Always Open... behind you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2156\" data-end=\"2183\"\u003eSo Glad You Could Make It... out the door.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2185\" data-end=\"2230\"\u003e(Emotionally loaded subtext added at no additional cost.)\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45128737423383,"sku":null,"price":25.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/passive_aggressive_set.jpg?v=1778531948"},{"product_id":"serious-drinker-coaster-set","title":"Serious Drinker Coaster Set","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"2588\" data-end=\"2680\"\u003eA sophisticated coaster collection for people who refer to cocktails as “coping strategies.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2682\" data-end=\"2784\"\u003eThe Serious Drinker Set pairs gothic-inspired typography with deeply responsible adult messaging like:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2785\" data-end=\"2906\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2785\" data-end=\"2815\"\u003eCalm Your Tits, Have a Drink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2816\" data-end=\"2839\"\u003eFuck Off I’m Drinking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2840\" data-end=\"2858\"\u003eZero Fucks Given\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2859\" data-end=\"2906\"\u003eI’m Not Saying You’re Wrong… But You’re Wrong\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2908\" data-end=\"2953\"\u003eWhich honestly covers most social situations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2955\" data-end=\"3127\"\u003eEach coaster is printed in sharp UV detail onto premium ceramic with cork backing to help protect your surfaces from condensation, whiskey rings, and regrettable decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3129\" data-end=\"3138\"\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3139\" data-end=\"3257\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3139\" data-end=\"3159\"\u003e4 ceramic coasters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3160\" data-end=\"3174\"\u003ecork backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3175\" data-end=\"3195\"\u003ecustom PETG holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3196\" data-end=\"3207\"\u003efelt feet\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3208\" data-end=\"3257\"\u003eenough attitude to start minor family arguments\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3259\" data-end=\"3297\"\u003eMade in-house by Geeked Out Creations.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45128742010903,"sku":null,"price":25.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/seriousdrinkerset.jpg?v=1778532212"},{"product_id":"not-so-deep-thoughts-coaster-set","title":"Not-So-Deep Thoughts Coaster Set","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"3634\" data-end=\"3747\"\u003eSomewhere between motivational quotes and complete emotional collapse lives the Not-So-Deep Thoughts coaster set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3749\" data-end=\"3890\"\u003eThis collection combines vintage occult-inspired artwork with observations that feel strangely wise after two drinks and a difficult Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3892\" data-end=\"3918\"\u003eIncluded messages include:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3919\" data-end=\"4101\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3919\" data-end=\"3966\"\u003eHappiness Is A Warm Puppy… Or A Cold Beverage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3967\" data-end=\"4014\"\u003eMoney Can’t Buy Happiness But It Can Buy Beer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4015\" data-end=\"4068\"\u003eDance Like Everyone Is Watching And Judging Harshly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4069\" data-end=\"4101\"\u003eHome Is Where The Pants Aren’t\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4103\" data-end=\"4118\"\u003eHonestly? Fair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4120\" data-end=\"4269\"\u003eEach coaster is made from durable ceramic with cork backing and printed using high-detail UV printing for crisp artwork that survives real-world use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4271\" data-end=\"4280\"\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"4281\" data-end=\"4385\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4281\" data-end=\"4301\"\u003e4 ceramic coasters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4302\" data-end=\"4316\"\u003ecork backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4317\" data-end=\"4343\"\u003ecustom white PETG holder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4344\" data-end=\"4355\"\u003efelt feet\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4356\" data-end=\"4385\"\u003emild existential commentary\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4387\" data-end=\"4442\"\u003eDesigned and produced in-house by Geeked Out Creations.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45128745975831,"sku":null,"price":25.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/notsodeepthoughtsset.jpg?v=1778532373"},{"product_id":"the-secret-to-a-happy-life-funny-throw-pillow-sarcastic-home-decor-inspirational-quote-cushion-gift-for-overthinkers","title":"The Secret to a Happy Life Funny Throw Pillow | Sarcastic Home Decor | Inspirational Quote Cushion | Gift for Overthinkers","description":"The secret to a happy life is only doing things you want to do, not things you have to do.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe tricky part is convincing yourself you want to do what you have to do.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFinally, a decorative pillow that understands adulthood.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for couches, reading chairs, offices, guest rooms, dorms, and any location where life keeps trying to assign homework. Equal parts motivational poster and existential crisis, this pillow adds a little humour to your home while quietly calling out the absurdity of responsible living.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeatures:\u003cbr\u003e\n• Soft, comfortable accent pillow\u003cbr\u003e\n• Full-colour all-over print\u003cbr\u003e\n• Hidden zipper closure\u003cbr\u003e\n• Machine-washable cover\u003cbr\u003e\n• Available in multiple sizes\u003cbr\u003e\n• Designed by Geeked Out Creations\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nMakes a great gift for:\u003cbr\u003e\n• Overthinkers\u003cbr\u003e\n• Procrastinators\u003cbr\u003e\n• Students\u003cbr\u003e\n• Coworkers\u003cbr\u003e\n• Parents\u003cbr\u003e\n• Anyone successfully pretending to have their life together\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWarning: May cause knowing nods, nervous laughter, and unexpected self-reflection.\u003cbr\u003e\n","brand":"Geeked Out Creations","offers":[{"title":"18″×18″","offer_id":45185750433815,"sku":"6388632_4532","price":35.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"20″×12″","offer_id":45185750466583,"sku":"6388632_9513","price":33.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"22″×22″","offer_id":45185750499351,"sku":"6388632_11075","price":39.5,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0764\/3771\/7015\/files\/all-over-print-basic-pillow-18x18-front-6a1e26e088164.jpg?v=1780360952"}],"url":"https:\/\/geekedout.ca\/collections\/functional.oembed","provider":"Geeked Out Creations","version":"1.0","type":"link"}